Friday, November 18, 2016

Prefer the pine trees

some days everyone seems too fast, too slow, too unconscious,
too unknowing, and difficult to deal with... other days,
everyone seems pretty normal... you never know when one of those days will be the day
to start counting the needles on the pine trees outside the office window.

thankfully, the golden leaves of our autumn trees are mixed with the
trees. the year long greenery can be counted on. all the green doesn’t
go away!

just like people, some get yellow and fade off... but, the pine tree green
just stays on. everyday the green is still dark and dependable.
the other trees bend, their leaves come and go... even though they are beautiful,
the only thing that stays counton-able, is the wooden trunk
and some branches.

it’s not like we make the trees wrong for being what they are...

Tuesday, August 2, 2016

Mysticism Really

"i don't think, in our kind of society, we'll be able to develop a full blown mystical religion or concept of God, because we seek instant gratification, fast food, endless talk, and noise. the silence in mysticism is alien. people want to do a few courses in mysticism, rather like the way you do French before going on holiday, and emerge a mystic. mysticism isn’t like that." ~  Karen Armstrong

a lot of myriad mysticism can be
involved in looking out the window.
whether into trees and mountains,
or into addlepated peoples faces
or just buildings... a lot of everything
is just there, apparent.

birds fly around, the sun goes
seemingly up and down. the wind blows,
rains come down and summer moths come
on the windows night and day.

addlepated people change
their expressions, or not
... people get aggravated
and learn to let go of it...
their faces shrink or expand
based on what they
seem to perceive.

on the other hand, buildings
just stand there with clouds going bye,
waiting for someone somewhere
to make up something about them...
more static and stupid really.

all this is just some something
we like making up. i prefer the trees, the birds,
and all those breezes... even the summer moths
are kind of lively after all.

behind all this,
is the radiant truth of being.
what we have... behind it all.
what is under all of what
seems to be seen...

Thursday, July 28, 2016

What it is

sometimes, that's what it is like...
there is no idea, followed by more no idea,
and then more no idea, just old ideas...

then, they say,
"oh, this is good enough,
this is good, this will fly okay,"
...but, i say no this is not good enough...
i need some new break through insights
the people can arrive at with these new prompts.

i wait for a good idea
to break through to consciousness...
something that will evoke new insights
for the people doing the tasks.
i can't go to bed until i have an idea
that would open up new thoughts
for me and my collaborators...

thank heaven it always happens.

Tuesday, July 26, 2016

The maroons are back

Lunatic Dialogues

this cake called whatever it was called, had nothing i couldn’t eat...
so, that meant i could have a piece. it was smashed up dates,
and nuts, handsome maple sugar and some chocolate... a pretty good deal.

it's friday night and the maroons were out early today, at least they were over here.
several maroons came here. the one who said she would sew the tags i sent her on the quilts,
she agreed to put together for me. she came 300 miles with the quilts, but without the tags
i mailed to her to sew on them. "oh my,"
she said, "i can’t believe i did that."

i was sitting in unbelief with her...
i mailed them in a separate envelope with instructions any maroon could comprehend.
it said, "sew these on the bottom border, on the back right hand corner.
call me if you need help." she couldn’t believe she showed up
with no labels sewed on the back of the quilts.
i couldn’t believe it either. she looked at me angrily and huffed.

i was trying to just say goodbye and get back to my desk.
this was scheduled to be over in 15 minutes. now it would
involve getting new labels, finding the sewing kit,
and sitting nearby while she sewed them on
angry as she was, all the time talking more in the office.

the maroons were out alright. if i told you about all the rest of them,
the night would only be about more lunatic dialogues and we couldn't really
eat whatever it was called, that seemed like a cake without flour... or get work complete
Julie, the massage lady, said when she was a kid they called "morons" maroons.
i thought it was a very good idea. more about that later.

Monday, July 11, 2016

The litany of disappointments

  • every thing, person and situation is a disappointment.
    it’s a matter of time eventually.
  • disappointment is okay and i am still happy...
  • disappointment is innate in all experiences.
    the greater the determination, the more disappointment.
  • disappointment is okay and i am still happy...
  • to see there is nothing that i really "need"...
    this makes attractive the possibility of detachment, otherwise, detachment would be terrible punishment.
  • disappointment is okay and i am still happy...
  • can i be happy in the face of
    such great disappointment? yes i can.
  • disappointment is okay and i am still happy...
  • to the reactionary egoic mind, there is only, disappointment.
  • disappointment is okay and i am still happy...
  • i can determine life is about being happy in the middle
    of all circumstances, even disappointment which is innate in life.
  • disappointment is okay and i am still happy...
  • it is possible to be prosperous, have goals, intentions
    and continue happily in the face of all disappointments.
  • disappointment is okay and i am still happy...
  • yes, everything changes and it's perfect.
  • disappointment is okay and i am still happy...
  • i am fully engaged in all that life offers...
  • disappointment is okay and i am still happy...
  • 137 Seasons of Prosperity

Friday, July 8, 2016

Millions of possibilities?

okay then, we read them all and then picked from all the ones we had chosen...
to just have one. well, i was the last "picker," and all the ones
i underlined were chosen by all the people before me. so i got the last one, i selected:
"millions of possibilities," the last one i would choose, but
here it is, all mine, "millions of possibilities." what are they?

well, when i am lying awake in the morning, it's six a.m. and i think,
"i am pretty awake, i can get up now," then i go further thinking...
that will wake Steve up and he is pretty happy sleeping... and then,
i see the cat asleep, on the feathery puff, sound asleep absolutely...
he seems happy also, so then i think, "i can be happy going back to sleep too"...
so i force myself to go back to sleep again...

when i
wake up again,
i am not so wide awake

or happy to be getting up
... the cat is gone
and Steve isn't in the bed either... i am the only dead ass in the bed
and it's late... and it doesn't look like "millions of possibilities" anymore.
it seems like, "why didn't i just get up at six a.m., when i wanted too?"

millions of possibilities
that i have ideas about, before i sensor them
to make what i think will be the best for everyone...
what's with that?
what would Dr. Phil say... i wonder...

Wednesday, June 29, 2016

Start Now

start now
people are crazy... they know what they have to do,
but do not do it. i know it was time
to go back to exercising, but then it was one o’clock
in the morning. can’t text her... she doesn’t even text.

i would only have
to e-mail her, but i was not by an e-mail machine.
so i would wait till the next morning,
then it would occur to me, it was dark by now...
this went on for two weeks, till i finally remembered
i meant to be back exercising again.
i called, left a time and date... she e-mailed me back, “yes”...
... so today, i was back to exercising!

 it could be
 think of something and then do it! and it’s simple...

there is so little really that is simple about us...
we have to stall on everything... what’s with that?

think of something good:
... start writing again
... start tithing again
... go back to goals group

... start exercising
... get another quilter
... get back in a training

 it doesn’t have to be stalled on...
 or put off, or thought about more...
we can simply do it.